Happy with child - Do not be afraid of mom
Are you pregnant and completely happy? I congratulate you with all my heart! So much joy and adventure await you with your child. But also fears and problems. That's why you may be worried. At this point I would like to share some experiences with you and encourage you! Of course, there is no blueprint for the perfect life with a child. Also, not every child and every family is the same. But maybe the tips will help you a little bit further.
1. Your emotional state after birth
Your child is here. You are at home. Your first thoughts shooting through your head are: What am I doing now? How does it all work? Oh, God, I just have no idea! Many women only want to go to bed after birth and arrival and cry. Not only the many thoughts that one makes oneself can be to blame, but also a possible "postpartum depression". This is to be taken seriously and must be treated. That's no shame! Currently, it is believed that every fourth mother, for the first time a child in the world, suffers. Body and soul have gone through a lot in the 9 months until birth. But you should not forget that you became a mom for the first time. The feelings described can occur shortly after birth even without depression. This is often referred to as "baby blues". spoken, which disappears after 14 days at the latest by itself. It's also alright if you need your rest and do not want to see anyone. Give yourself time! If you feel depressed even after 14 days, you can always get help. It is not at all embarrassing to receive psychotherapeutic support! But it can just as well be that you are simply exhausted after birth, but completely happy. I do not want to spread fear at this point, but only show that many women have already had such feelings, fears or even depression and that you are not alone with it.
2. Has the love for your partner disappeared?
The relationship with your partner could also be shaky. Your child will quickly become the center and the most important person in the room. The husband can ever suffer from this? even if he is usually understanding. Your husband annoys you a lot now, because sometimes he sits in the chair and can do nothing. Why does not he do anything? We have a child! He also has to do something and not just sit around !? - so you may think. But you must not forget that your partner, like you, has no experience with a baby yet. He simply does not know how to look after a baby. Besides, he seems to have slipped in your priority list. He feels that, sometimes feels excluded. Also tell yourself "stop", even if it's very hard, and stop constantly attacking him! You should both try to pull yourself together in these moments and suppress your anger. You may have heard that many relationships did not survive the first year after birth. But there are at least as many couples who have made it and even made it stronger. Of course, mistakes are also made there, but you learn to handle situations better, to understand the partner and strengthens his partnership all the more!
3. Breastfeeding or not? Both ok!
Not all mothers can breastfeed for a long time or not at all. Still others just do not want it. People from the area try to interfere frequently and want to make a guilty conscience. That's why non-restful mothers often feel guilty. If a woman can not or does not want to breastfeed, it is so and finished. There is no guilt here, so you are not a bad mother. Breastfed and non-breastfed children are normal and can live a healthy life. It is your decision or even higher power, should it not work! Everything your child needs is love and security!
4. Your child does not want to eat what you cook?
With increasing age, the preparation of food becomes more complicated for your child. But not every child likes the same thing as we adults do, so sometimes that's not so easy. You put your child vitamin-rich broccoli on the table, but it calls for fries. You give him a delicious smoothie? but asked is sweet lemonade. Personally, I have learned the following: forcing the child to everything makes no sense. Healthy food must be the standard, your child should finally grow up healthy and the body needs many nutrients, vitamins, etc. But of course you can treat your child sometimes a small portion of fries or a piece of chocolate! They are children, they want to try everything and who are we to deny them completely? Of course everything in moderation and not constantly. The most important thing is that you gradually develop interest in healthy food for a child, but not through coercion! Try something new every now and then find out what your child likes.You will be surprised what preferences for vegetables and fruits you discover in the offspring!
5. Your little one is sick? stay cool!
The child has a fever and screams all the time. A freshly mum likes to panic. It's hard, but you have to try to stay calm. In such cases you should always keep a clear head. You call the pediatrician or the weekend at an emergency room, and if necessary, you bring your child there. In most cases, everything is half as wild, you quickly learn that a little baby or child is just more susceptible and everything is something more extreme? Appears because they are still so small and helpless. However, one must say: one should not be too careless. If you think that your child is feeling sick and looking for more than just a little cold, then you should go to the pediatrician or the emergency department / pediatric clinic. Incidentally, according to statistics, child emergencies are only about 3 percent of the cases of an emergency physician.
6. You feel exhausted? You can do that!
Over time, your nerves can be overused. You are tired. And you do not want to say the truth out loud: your baby is sometimes annoying you. It's OK! We are all humans and not robots. Your child is also not to blame, it is still too small and is constantly trying out for yourself. What you can do to get more positive emotions back are things like this:
- Take a break. The baby can also stay home with his dad. During these hours, you can do something for yourself. Everything you enjoy! Mom may also be away and enjoy her own life! This makes much more sense than eating all the frustration into it and eventually exploding or even terrorizing everyone around you.
- You can also sleep late. Talk to your partner that he gets up in the morning with the child and plays or has breakfast, while you just keep scratching for a while! Nothing works as good as sleep in!
- Likewise, you do not have to sit and play with your child every second. It is right and super important that parents often play with their children. But a toddler can sometimes get bored and learn to creatively find new ways to play. Learning to play without parents. This is not just a possible little break for you, it is even important for the development of your child!
- There are moments when you have to decide between tidying up and playing with your child. Here you just have to find a healthy mix: Sometimes you push the tidying up tomorrow and prefer to play with his child, sometimes the child just has to play alone and you do the important household tasks.
7. Your baby is getting bigger - learn to look positive!
At some point your baby may go to kindergarten. ? Oh no! My baby has grown so tall!?. Only a few months ago it was so dependent on you. You also want to keep your child with you and protect it from anything bad. But you also have to learn to let go of your darling in his new phase of life. You have emotional pain and fear of separation. But stay strong! Try to accept the situation and look at the whole thing positively. Your little one is getting older and more independent! He must be allowed to develop as a self-employed person. In addition, he may also gain new experiences, adopt new skills and learn how to deal with them. He is also allowed to try to overcome his own problems and cope with setbacks - but of course you are always his help and support.
Of course letting go is not so easy for both especially at the beginning. But let it be, so you help him better handle the situation and find his place in the world faster. With a good start and your support he increases his self-esteem immensely. And you always stay the mom of your child and his most important caregiver. You do not have to worry about that!
8. When children start to curse
In kindergarten, he or she starts to play and communicate with other children. Any kind of communication is important for people, but especially for small children. They learn to interact with first-time strangers and children. Through the many communicating they learn very much very quickly? unfortunately also things that you do not want to hear! You are surprised and angry. Did he or she just use a dirty word? Where did it come from? Often, the little ones like to try out the learned home again and see what reactions this causes in the parents. It is important in this situation to explain to the little one clearly and calmly that one should not use such words. But if the child does not stop provoking you, it can sometimes help you not to respond to those words. Many children then realize: Okay, that does not seem to get me anywhere.
9. Let your baby play in the mud? But that's good!
Not only new bad words come home from kindergarten, but also a lot of dirt from playing in the garden. It is not uncommon that the clothes are completely dirty and blotched almost every day. And yes, it is annoying to wash all the time.But: It's much better if your child plays outside in the dirt with other kids, instead of sitting squirt-free the whole time on the computer or tablet at home. Put the clothes in the washing machine, drain the dirt off the floor, and the job is done!
10. So your child learns to be neat and to help you without compulsion
If your darling likes to help you in the household, let him do that. Of course, at first, children are not so adept at household chores and can cause more chaos than order. But it still makes every child good to educate them for independence and to learn something new! Let it dust and vacuum, set the table, prepare the dishes and clean up. Together you can bake cakes or cook a soup. There are so many tasks that you have to do at home and the kids have a lot of fun. For them, this is not an annoying job. You are a team and together you can do everything much faster!
The most important thing in the story is that you do not have to prove to anyone, not yourself, that you're a better mom than the others. Of course, there are those who think that they do everything perfectly. Probably they can do it without mistakes, no, probably not. Be a good and loving mother, but do not look for perfection.
Of course, there are other areas that are relevant to raising a child. But I think the most important thing. I am also sure that there are many advocates and just as many conflicting opinions on my statements. But everyone has their own opinion - this is mine. The purpose of this article is superficially to share my own experiences. I do not want to dictate to anyone or say that I have eaten wisdom with a spoon. I would be very happy if you could tell me and the other readers your opinion, comment on further advice - even if they were to go in a completely different direction.
