Often saying "no" is good
I absolutely do not consider myself a notorious yes-man, yet I realize that I am much less common? say, as it would do me good. Questions like? Can you just ??? or? Do you have time to ??? seem to trigger the reflex with me? even if I have neither the time nor the inclination to fulfill the request. Do not get it wrong? I like to help, if I can, often beyond my personal limits. And this is where the problem lies: I often neglect my own needs for the benefit of others. Does that seem familiar to one or the other? That's what I thought. Let us therefore take a closer look at the phenomenon of selflessness (albeit too often exploited).
?Yes? saying is often easier
Those who are always ready to do all kinds of (and impossible) pleasures to their environment usually make themselves popular with their fellow human beings. The converse is obvious: who else often with a "no"? To let go of life means to make oneself unpopular. For people who like? Everybody? S darling? can this lead to a real dilemma in which a (legitimate)? no? feels just as wrong as a half-hearted? Yes ?. In such a situation, many people choose the path of least resistance and say for the sake of the peace of God? Yes? would be much more appropriate. So what remains to be done? First, the directed request should be scrutinized and evaluated. This usually leads to the question:
Who asks me for something?
The closer I am to the person who comes to me with a request, the harder it is for me? accept. This is deeply human, since I have a clear? No? must reckon with disappointment or incomprehension. Handling these reactions is often more difficult than simply fulfilling the request. Naturally, my counterpart also knows this and this transparency makes it easier to manipulate me. Phrases like "Oh come, I would not have thought that really ?? out of the mouth of a friend to whom I have denied a request make it difficult for me in my already pronounced? no? to stay. In the long term, however, both sides benefit from a healthy consequence and quite frankly: What is worth a friendship that depends on me, my friend? fulfill every request?
It is even more difficult in partnerships and love relationships: Actually, one wishes to read his or her sweetheart's every wish from his lips. It is only stupid, if you stand alone with this claim and because of your fullfilled wishes it is no longer possible to take care of your own concerns. At the latest then the time has come for a clarifying conversation and in the future also simply? No? accept.
What motivation is behind a request?
Is behind a request clearly the personal laziness of my counterpart to recognize, it is now easy for me? accept. This behavior has often occurred to me during my time as an educator, and has regularly disturbed me. When a team member tries to escape the "unpopular"? Pressing work (changing diapers, lubricating children with suntan lotion, conducting parent talks, etc.) is often masked by a request. Clever colleagues also like to reinforce this request with a supposed compliment: "Kriss, would you please take over quickly, you can do that much better ??. Especially if you are new to a facility, you would of course like to be liked by all colleagues and thus is an easy victim for the "workman"? among them. Here it is important to show a clear edge relatively fast and? No? to say, before the extra work over your head grows and one is annoyed. In case of doubt, the behavior of the person concerned should also be discussed in a team meeting. Of course, this principle can be applied to all professions that work in a team.
Recognize and accept one's own boundaries
In the end, any fulfilled request will rob you of time and energy, no matter how much you willingly or reluctantly fulfill it. So you should be in front of everyone? ask if you do not go beyond your own limits and that in the end you really do not help anyone. A good justification always helps with this? No? to explain and to make sure that no one is offended. And if someone does not understand (or wants to understand) this justification, then you just have to stand in the room and endure negative reactions.
Even the Greek philosopher and mathematician Pythagoras of Samos knew:
The shortest words, yes? and, no ?, require the most thinking.?
