Would I have ...!? About life in the subjunctive
Had, bike chain?
What would have been so possible would one have acted, decided or reacted differently? But as? Is that just what it is. But you can fantasize about that? What if ?, right? Of course you can. Whether it is helpful or meaningful, is an open question. When I was annoyed as a kid about a supposedly wrong decision, my grandma always said: "Spilled milk is not worth complaining about."
At that time I did not understand what spilled milk should have to do with my Lego bricks. I had that too big with the vague feeling for Lego? to be my little cousin. Already the next day I regretted that bitter and rumgeheult. "Gifts are given?", My father commented the whining and that was the final decision. Dumbled, but very instructive.
Man as a plaything of life?
Since then, a lot of time has passed and my life today is the result of innumerable decisions that I have made. Had I decided differently on some striking waypoints, my life would have been completely different. I might have a better paid job, would not live in this city and my circle of friends would be made up of other people. Maybe that would be better, but of course I do not know that. Is it worth it to moan? About supposedly missed opportunities and all that I do not have? I think no.
Strangely, I constantly encounter people who are doing just that: they are constantly complaining about wrong decisions or missed opportunities and the resulting misery. Thoughtfully, they live in a what-could-have-if-could-not-have-been-different-world. They often miss the good of what they actually have. It gives me the impression that they feel like a ball being kicked completely haphazardly across the playing field of life. This observation leads straight to my thesis:
The subjunctive prevents a self-determined life
To stay with my grandma's motto: who else for a long time spilled milk? cries, quarrels with circumstances of life that are irreversible. It is of course deeply human to be sad about missed opportunities or wrong choices. The important thing is not to miss out on the mourning moment, in which it is necessary to sweep up the pieces and to mop up the milk. If we persist too long in the situation of mourning, this feeling overshadows all upcoming decisions and forces us into a passive victim role. Positive and self-determined action is difficult in such phases.
Where is the tip?
For those of you who are asking yourself this question: I hope that this contribution is understood as a source of inspiration and an opportunity to share experiences. A concrete tip such as:? Just always get up more often than one falls down? is difficult in this context and probably not very helpful. Ultimately, every person has to find the right way to deal with the disappointing moments of life. Nonetheless, I'd like to introduce you to a little exercise that I find in my personal "too much" subjunctive whining moments? has helped many times already.
The critical inventory
Even before the pool of spilled milk begins to stink sour, it can be very helpful to make a personal inventory. All you need is a blank sheet of paper and a pen. And, of course, the willingness to answer difficult questions and possibly inconvenient answers.
On the sheet she draws a table with three columns. In the first column, you spontaneously write down all the circumstances of your life that you could moan or moan about right now. In the second column are the reasons why you should definitely change the matter. And in the third column are the reasons for not changing.
If the reasons for or against a change in Columns two and three are about equally strong, then you should very specifically weigh your personal advantages and disadvantages that arise when you leave or change something in the old.
Speak better reasons for not changing something, can you try the positive sides of the "Jammergrunds? to focus more on things in order to be able to accept them more calmly.
Talking more about change, changing your points can be your new goal for the future.
So far from my side to a topic that has been bothering me for a long time. I'm looking forward to your feedback in the comments.
