Foreign ashamed? a phenomenon brings odds
A few months ago I met a group of young men in the Berlin Wall Park. They waved vodka bottles, rumbled, and were otherwise embarrassed in every possible way. Not that such behavior in Berlin would be particularly unusual - it was a terribly hot day and somehow the heat in the city seemed to beat everyone's brains and minds. This testosterone-loving pack, however, attracted particular attention because the sturdy boys had a strong Bavarian accent and pink T-shirts with the imprint? Juchhei marrying Martin? carried.
Only one stood out from the group: His T-shirt was black and on the chest was read? Shit, I'm the Martin ?. Aha, I thought, a bachelor party, how cute. Meanwhile, Martin had his head thrown back and took under the whining of his Entourage still a good blow of the probably lukewarm Gorbachev. Yes mei, they have just style, these Bavarian fine guys. But apparently even the strongest Bavarian Saumagen knows its limits and only seconds later, the vodka and a pound of half-digged kebab landed at Martin's feet, or on his battered leather. I caught myself feeling a bit strange: I was ashamed. For Martin, for the Bavarians and for the male sex in general. An extremely uncomfortable and strange feeling that intensified as Martin fell to the ground in the pool of his vomit. I left the place of horror quickly.
The embarrassment of others
On the way home in the subway, I pulled out my green Moleskin booklet and wrote down: Check out Fremdschämmen. Behind it, I made three bold exclamation marks. Now I am sitting here at the computer and will try to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. Are you there? Here we go! As so often, online tuition is my first stop when I want to approach a word or phrase. Under the term "alienated"? is there that it is a weak, colloquial verb. Meaning: "to be ashamed of others whose embarrassment is embarrassing?" Alright, that fits. I found Martin (and the rest of his Bavarian gang) extremely embarrassed. And from the eyes of the other passers-by in the Mauerpark, it could be concluded that they felt the same way as I did. Although: On some faces was also a kind of blatant glee to recognize, true to the motto? It happens quite right, the Suffkopp !?
The psychological mechanisms
Most of the research on the topic of strangering is more recent. So the term "Fremdscham? as such also only in the year 2009 in the Duden added. Surprisingly - or rather logically - a temporal parallel to the emergence of certain Fremdschäm TV formats can be seen here. When various XYZ celebrities voluntarily go into extremely embarrassing situations in front of the camera, the glee and glee of the audience are pre-programmed and desired. At the same time the participation in such formats signals a resignation of the kind? everything does not matter ?, because it does not go deeper on the celebrity ladder. Anyone who lets himself be shot while eating crocodile testicles in close-up, should not be surprised if he no longer gets offered character roles.
Whether jungle camp, celebrity Big Brother or the summer house of the stars? All these trash formats emphasize the display of human abysses. And with steadily growing success and rising odds. Apparently it gives the common spectator a voyeuristic pleasure in seeing other people suffer. And since man tends to dull quickly, of course, more powerful guns must be driven up. I would like to play mice in the development departments of new TV shows? the deeper there in the disgusting and faeces box, the better the expected rate. What happens on the other side of the screen, ie the viewer? Recent research shows that the capacity for strangers is more pronounced among empathic people. This means that the better I can empathize with other people and their emotional world, the more the aspect of alien shame comes to the fore. Conversely, the less empathic a person is, the sooner he will feel glee instead of shame.
A possible conclusion
To feel shame for the embarrassment committed by other people is not a sign of disturbed hypersensitivity. On the contrary, the person who is capable of foreign shyness can be proud of a particularly strong empathy. At the same time, the Fremdschäm experience can have a cathartic, ie cleansing effect. Do I now think of the Bavarian Martin in the Mauerpark, the feeling of stranger's shame a touch of compassion? What a pity for him to prepare in preparation for the most beautiful day of his life? had to complete such a degrading procedure. Let's hope that none of his buddies have come up with the stupid idea of filming him in this moment of drunken helplessness and presenting the whole thing to his future.So Martin: At this point the best wishes for the wedding, hopefully you have found home in time for Bavaria. Oh yes, the obligatory tip: vodka should always be enjoyed ice cold. ;)
